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How to approach your partner with divorce

Ending a marriage is not always a smooth transition into single-hood. It begins by having an honest conversation with your partner. Sometimes the word 'divorce' may get tossed around during a heated argument, but how can you really be sure that divorce is what you really want?

Taking time to reflect on your relationship and trying to see a professional counselor are good ways to process the life change you are about to embark on. Once you are clear on your decision to leave a marriage, you will need to let your spouse know.

Anticipate the other person's response and questions

Discussing divorce helps when you have given the marriage a fair chance to succeed. When you are sure about your decision to call it quits, be prepared for what the conversation is likely to entail. Think about how he or she may react. Will they be angry, cry, want to work it out? Think about how you would feel with any of these reactions and how it may or may not change your conversation. Have you really thought this out? Are you making an emotional decision that does not carry the weight of wisdom? All this will likely be tested by your partner once you have opened the discussion.

Show peace and compassion

I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but when you display a demeanor of peace and compassion, you instill the same in the other person. You are telling that person that you understand this is a difficult pill to swallow, but you are confident in this decision and in moving forward in peace no matter what. Your divorce does not have to be a battle of the egos or a demonstration of your hatred and resentment towards the other person.

You have a choice in how you want to act during this time in your life. You can begin the process on the wrong foot or on the right foot with good intentions for yourself and your spouse. Breaking the ice and talking about divorce can lead to a liberating future of healing and progress that might have otherwise been non-existent.

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